Straight White Boy Problem #462

straightwhiteboyproblems:

my phone ran out of battery so i cant play 2048 and none of my friends are in this class. school is so boring……..i guess its time for me to show my skills *starts banging on table rhythmically with a pencil until teacher asks me to stop*

all american family dinner

  • mom: hello son you need to put out the fancy dinner plates. i ordered some Chinese food and we will serve it on the plates so we can pretend i cooked
  • son: of course mom, can u pass me the apple juice
  • mom: of course son. be careful it is very spicy
  • son: *sips juice* OH SUGAR U WERE RIGHT MOM THIS APPLE JUICE IS MUCH TOO SPICY
  • dad: ha ha ha. wash it down with hot dogs, and all american tradition.
  • son: thanks dad. hey, wanna play baseball with me after dinner?
  • dad: we can't tonight, son. tonight is the night we are having our annual family photograph taken
  • mom: i picked out matching sweaters for all of us including the dog.
  • son: we will look great! we should use the photograph as a christmas card! merry christmas from the bakers!
  • dad: great idea, son. don't forget about our fishing trip this weekend
  • son: golly dad, how could i forget that important american family tradition
dimpleghosts:

mikalhvi:

gentlemanbones:

"What is that, some kind of stone, like a heating stone? An odd pattern, it kind of looks like—
…Oh.”

is that a goddamn condom full of spaghetti

pene pasta

dimpleghosts:

mikalhvi:

gentlemanbones:

"What is that, some kind of stone, like a heating stone? An odd pattern, it kind of looks like—

…Oh.”

is that a goddamn condom full of spaghetti

pene pasta

(via crunkahontas)

murdarioxstomp:

when yr trying to yell something to yr mom while shes in another room but shes too far away to hear u and u dont wanna get up and go find her

image

(via meals0nwheels)

(via pot-punk)

antiskramz:

The Front Bottoms (x)

antiskramz:

The Front Bottoms (x)

(via beers-in-coffee-mugs)

hazelshaw:

I wonder if those people are still a fan of John’s today

(via stalledaction)

jhenne-bean:

xaannaax:

bookiesbooty:

It’s back.

This is my favorite video of all time

LMAO

(via lohgan)

internetexplorers:

i will step on every crunchy leaf and nobody can stop me

(via the-meat-sweats)

dragon-in-a-fez:

a 100% accurate map of north america as drawn by a canadian

dragon-in-a-fez:

a 100% accurate map of north america as drawn by a canadian

(via crunkahontas)

supernatural-tardis:

i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him  this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked

(via lohgan)